Listen in to Gil and Brenda for some refreshing conversation about your relationship. They’ll offer you tips that come from their experience of working with couples like you, and practical tools you can use right now. And the “Tingles” will tickle your emotional funny bone.
Tune in for some Tips, Tools and Tingles for your relationship.
Even in the best relationships, conflict is going to happen. Is conflict good or bad? Conflict is good, as long as you do it right! Yet, how do you control the damage that can come with conflict? Gil and Brenda go over a few points from the Gottman Repair Checklist. Here are some real “how” to’s” to reduce the damage that can happen when conflict comes about. You can even pass this info on to your kids!
Action Steps:
1. How can we limit damage control?
Have this conversation BEFORE any conflict happens. When you are in a good place, you can (hopefully) logically share with your
spouse/partner what you need when things get tense. How can we both support each other without escalating the conflict?
2. Slow down!
Admit where you are emotionally (I need to take a break, I need to regroup, I’m feeling flooded)
3. Show appreciate.
Boy, this can go a long way! Don’t hold back thanking your spouse/partner for even making an attempt to repair. Chances are, if you notice this and say something you both will extend appreciation and grace more often.
Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers
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So many times, there is an underlying pain that we carry that affects our relationships. It can be from family of origin, past relationships…or even the present. Gil and Brenda talk about a new way to look at pain. Not so much as an enemy but as a teacher. By using the acronym PAIN, you’ll gain a new “Perspective”, hopefully not be “Apathetic,” learn how to “Validate” and “Negotiate” through the pain. You will see how to flip the pain into peace in your relationship. Remember, your partner/spouse IS NOT the enemy!
Action Steps:
1. Quiet Yourself
Ask yourself, where is the pain coming from? (family of origin, past relationships, the present relationship, distorted thinking (i.e. I can’t /won’t be loved, or I can’t trust any one and/or believing a lie)
2. How can I gently move toward the flip side?
Maybe having your spouse listen to this podcast you can be on the same page. Extend understanding and grace.
3. Find a mentor couple, counselor or coach to help you sift through the pain and find resolution. This could be individually or together with your
spouse.
Peanut Butter reference is on a video we did on our site called Anger and Peanut Butter https://gilandbrenda.com/relationship-marriage-videos/
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www.gilandbrenda.com
Contact us at hello@gilandbrenda.com
We offer counseling and coaching services. Check out our website for more free Podcasts and videos to encourage/equip your relationship!
While speaking on the Love Like You Mean It Cruise, Gil and Brenda were able to catch an interview with Family Life Blended Director, Ron Deal and author of the Five Love Languages, Dr, Gary Chapman. They just wrote a new book, Building Love Together in Blended Families that is a game changer for stepfamilies. ALL marriages/relationships will benefit from listening in.
It takes two people to want to connect and learn to love each other. But in a stepfamily, what if a stepchild doesn’t want that? How do you adjust the love language of your stepchild? How real are your expectation with your stepchild?
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/book/building-love-together-in-blended-families/
take the free quiz for couples, children, teens and singles at the above link
Twitter @DrGaryChapman
Face Book https://www.facebook.com/5lovelanguages/
https://www.smartstepfamilies.com/
Twitter @RonLDeal
Face Book for Ron
Hello@gilandbrenda.com
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A recent trip to a cell phone store prompted a discussion about Customer Service (CS). Our experience wasn’t that great, but it got us thinking about the CS in our relationships….is it good or bad?
What is the responsibility of the store and the customer? In our relationships, do we as customers pay on time? Do we ask for what we want? Do we let the company know if there is competition? As a company, how is our follow-through? Do we offer loyal, consistent service? Do we offer points? (ahh yes, it’s ALL about the points!)
We’d love to hear any thoughts you have on this!
Action Steps:
Ask for Customer (your spouse) feedback on the service they are receiving.
1. Do you feel heard?
If no: “Tell me what you need.”
2. When the customer (spouse) has a request (emotional or a task) is the follow-through thorough?
Yes/No: How can I improve?
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Ready to gather some gold nuggets to help your parenting in a stepfamily? Gil and Brenda interview Joel Hawbaker, a High School teacher, someone who lived in a stepfamily and is now in one. Joel offers some fresh perspective that can bring lively conversations to your marriage. After listening to this podcast, here are a few questions to discuss:
1. Are you acting like the adult you want your kids to become?
2. Are you in a harmonious relationship with your child’s other bio-parent? Are you
working together? How can this improve?
3. How can you develop mutual support in both homes?
4. Do you have a long-term perspective for your kids?
Check out this interview on our YouTube Channel! FREE SUBSCRIPTION https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc6LPCo8ksYC0nJK2y2dSVg/videos?view_as=subscriber
Find Joel here:
https://twitter.com/RealLifeLeading
https://www.facebook.com/joel.w.hawbaker
#tipstoolsandtingles
#gilandbrenda #RestoredandRemarried #marriagepodcast #investinyourmarriage #marriagecoach #marriagecounselor #husbandwifeteam #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast #stepfamily #JoelWHawbaker