Listen in to Gil and Brenda for some refreshing conversation about your relationship. They’ll offer you tips that come from their experience of working with couples like you, and practical tools you can use right now. And the “Tingles” will tickle your emotional funny bone.
Tune in for some Tips, Tools and Tingles for your relationship.
What can those couples who are in Law Enforcement and First Responders do to protect their marriage and family? What can we (those of us who are not in those fields) do to support them? Gil and Brenda interview a couple, who have been living this journey for over 20 years, 10 of those years on a SWAT team. Gabe and Stacey are very candid about the hardships and realities and the toll it can take on a marriage. They share practical advice to help strengthen a marriage and family who is affected by these professions.
A few takeaways:
To those who are First Responders & in Law Enforcement:
1. Work to understand and educate yourself on the job. Be aware of the biological impacts that affect both physiological and social health – these will indeed impact your family as well.
2. Each person should work to define themselves individually and define their family-outside of the “first responder” identity. Your work should not be your identity.
3. Cultivate friendships outside of the workplace.
4. Faith and family must come before work and hobbies.
5. Surround yourself with pro-marriage and pro-family activities/thoughts
To those who are not in this profession:
1.Make an effort to really reach out to these marriages/families
2. Be flexible with scheduling with activities
3. Include them in normal, fun activities
4. Pray for them!
Book Resource: Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement by Kevin M. Gilmartin, Ph.D
Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers
#gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles
#conflictresolution #firstresponders #firstrespondersmarriage #lawenforcement #lawenforcementmarriage #firstrespondersfamillies #lawenforcementfamilies
#gilandbrenda #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast
What can those couples who are in Law Enforcement and First Responders do to protect their marriage and family? What can we (those of us who are not in those fields) do to support them? Gil and Brenda interview a couple, who have been living this journey for over 20 years, 10 of those years on a SWAT team. Gabe and Stacey are very candid about the hardships and realities and the toll it can take on a marriage. They share practical advice to help strengthen a marriage and family who is affected by these professions.
A few takeaways:
To those who are First Responders & in Law Enforcement:
1. Work to understand and educate yourself on the job. Be aware of the biological impacts that affect both physiological and social health – these will indeed impact your family as well.
2. Each person should work to define themselves individually and define their family-outside of the “first responder” identity. Your work should not be your identity.
3. Cultivate friendships outside of the workplace.
4. Faith and family must come before work and hobbies.
5. Surround yourself with pro-marriage and pro-family activities/thoughts
To those who are not in this profession:
1.Make an effort to really reach out to these marriages/families
2. Be flexible with scheduling with activities
3. Include them in normal, fun activities
4. Pray for them!
Book Resource: Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement by Kevin M. Gilmartin, Ph.D
Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers
#gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles
#conflictresolution #firstresponders #firstrespondersmarriage #lawenforcement #lawenforcementmarriage #firstrespondersfamillies #lawenforcementfamilies
#gilandbrenda #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast
Why do some couples hesitate to invest in their marriage? Without sugar coating anything, Gil and Brenda explore several possibilities…and their remedies. Sometimes the busyness of life intrudes on the investments that need to be made in our marriage. And sometimes it’s just easier to hide behind the busyness instead of talking about what’s really going on.
Remember, life’s too short to just have a good marriage…you want a great one. Have a conversation about the differences between a good and a great marriage. You might be surprised how much you are both on the same page!
The goal: a high ROI (Return On Investment) in your marriage!
Resource: Stress Reducing Conversations
Action Steps:
Have a Conversation
1. What’s one thing we can do that would be a positive investment in our marriage?
2. Find 1 resource (book, podcast or seminar) you could do together.
3. Start having a standing meeting about feelings, not just logistics.
BONUS: Find thing you can laugh about! It’s good for the soul.
Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers
#gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles
#conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast
Even in the best relationships, conflict is going to happen. Is conflict good or bad? Conflict is good, as long as you do it right! Yet, how do you control the damage that can come with conflict? Gil and Brenda go over a few points from the Gottman Repair Checklist. Here are some real “how” to’s” to reduce the damage that can happen when conflict comes about. You can even pass this info on to your kids!
Action Steps:
1. How can we limit damage control?
Have this conversation BEFORE any conflict happens. When you are in a good place, you can (hopefully) logically share with your
spouse/partner what you need when things get tense. How can we both support each other without escalating the conflict?
2. Slow down!
Admit where you are emotionally (I need to take a break, I need to regroup, I’m feeling flooded)
3. Show appreciate.
Boy, this can go a long way! Don’t hold back thanking your spouse/partner for even making an attempt to repair. Chances are, if you notice this and say something you both will extend appreciation and grace more often.
Counselor/Coach, Husband/Wife Team, Marriage Illustrators and Encouragers
#gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles
#conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast #GottmanInstitute
So many times, there is an underlying pain that we carry that affects our relationships. It can be from family of origin, past relationships…or even the present. Gil and Brenda talk about a new way to look at pain. Not so much as an enemy but as a teacher. By using the acronym PAIN, you’ll gain a new “Perspective”, hopefully not be “Apathetic,” learn how to “Validate” and “Negotiate” through the pain. You will see how to flip the pain into peace in your relationship. Remember, your partner/spouse IS NOT the enemy!
Action Steps:
1. Quiet Yourself
Ask yourself, where is the pain coming from? (family of origin, past relationships, the present relationship, distorted thinking (i.e. I can’t /won’t be loved, or I can’t trust any one and/or believing a lie)
2. How can I gently move toward the flip side?
Maybe having your spouse listen to this podcast you can be on the same page. Extend understanding and grace.
3. Find a mentor couple, counselor or coach to help you sift through the pain and find resolution. This could be individually or together with your
spouse.
Peanut Butter reference is on a video we did on our site called Anger and Peanut Butter https://gilandbrenda.com/relationship-marriage-videos/
#gilandbrenda #tipstoolsandtingles
#conflictresolution #marriagehelp #marriage #investinyourmarriage #remarriagehelp #friendshipinmarriage #marriagecounselor #marriagecoach #husbandandwifeteam #RestoredandRemarried #remarried #remarriage #stepfamily #stepmom #stepdad #stepmother #stepfather #stepparent #stepparenting #stepchild #blendedfamily #marriagehelp #conflictresolution #parenting #remarriagehelp #stepfamilyhelp #blendedfamilyhelp #remarriageadvice #marriagepodcast #stepfamilypodcast #blendedfamilypodcast #remarriagepodcast
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