Threats and Thoughts for Couples in a StepFamily at Thanksgiving

Threats and Thoughts for Couples in a StepFamily at Thanksgiving (1)

Jack asks his wife, Jill of 3 years, “when are your kids (Michael (12) and Mary (9)) coming for Thanksgiving from their dads?” Jill bursts into tears!  “I don’t know,” she cries. “My ex is being such a dope,” she tearfully utters. “I need to pick them up at 2 pm and that is when your kids are here, right in the middle of our Thanksgiving Feast!”  Jill is feeling very anxious over all the details that can threaten the point of the day: being thankful!

Jack begins to rant and rave about the hassle of the schedules and the high expectations that Jill has for the day. Then he makes this statement, “why can’t you just let it go, just relax?” Jill stares a hot blazing hole through Jack’s forehead!  She is thinking “how do I tell this man whom I love, that is the most stupid comment he could have ever said?”


Give thanks in tribulations and pray for wisdom before you get run over by the Step-Family Holiday Steam-Roller!

The rule is this: there is plenty of love to go around and peace is experienced when you lower your expectations.

“Stuff” is going to happen no matter how well you plan and prepare. Get ready to ride the wave and check in with one another by asking “how’s the SURF?*”

And keep in mind… “If you Ain’t Got the Marriage you Ain’t Got Nothin’ ” Make sure you and your spouse are on the same team and that you have each other’s back during this holiday season. Keep the line of communication wide open and be intentional to clarify your thoughts/plans. With so many moving parts this time of year, it’s so easy for assumptions to take place of conversations.

May you and your family experience a Thanksgiving full of joy and above all peace.

I Thess. 5:16-18

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus

James 1:2-5

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you

*SURF: S= Servant Attitude U= Unity R=Respect/Relationship F= Flexibility (blessed are flexible because they won’t snap!) How’s your SURF?

Gil Stuart is a husband, Dad, insurance broker and an intern Counselor, working on his MA from Multnomah University in Portland, OR. He is passionate about people having healthy, vibrant, fun marriages…especially in stepfamilies! Check out more blogs from the Stuarts at http://www.restoredandremarried.com/blog.html.