Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and GAVE himself for her. “How do I do that?” many guys ask. I go to work, I come home, I spend time with the kids, I keep the cars in good condition, I take my wife out on a date once in a while… is that what loving my wife and family looks like?
Well, yes that is being responsible and involved with family life and if you are doing those things and a few others I’d say well done as that is level one love. To move up the ladder to level two and maybe to level three there are a few other steps to consider.
Level two of loving your wife is taking the extra step of leading her as well as your children (if you have any, regardless of age, bio or step.) Simply sharing your thoughts about scripture or praying for them is very impactful. Really – to take the time to share; emphasis is on the word share, a scripture you have read or something of encouragement that you’ve received, gives them a part of you.
What this does is opens you up to them with the deeper meaning of what inspires you, and hopefully, it will inspire them. Besides scripture, an event or something funny or lighthearted can score you points too!
Being prayerful for them and letting them know, sends the message you are thinking about them during your day. When you demonstrate it by actually praying or talking about it openly with them will build openness. Your job is to watch and listen so you pray effectively with what is on their mind and heart.
Level three of loving your wife is a pure step of bravery, daring, and maybe likened to a suicide mission. Loving your wife by stepping out in a vulnerable manner makes way for her to trust you and confide in you. It allows her to be open with her deepest feelings which is the connection she longs for with you. By the way, you too, long for this connection no matter how much like John Wayne, The Rock or James Bond you think you are.
Level three love is experiencing profound satisfaction in your relationship. However, to get there playing it safe, hiding your soft spots, hurts or weaknesses is where separating the men from the boys takes place. You can’t be “safe and satisfied” in the same relationship. Truly loving a woman is a precarious matter because she knows you and if you are hiding, so is she. In that case, nobody is satisfied and what you find is a husband and a wife who are roommates, lonely, sometimes sexual partners, but not true lovers.
Honestly my helpmate “a.k.a. my wife” can play it safe too. I don’t get all of her heart because she may be weary, exhausted and emotionally bruised due to my being dull and insensitive. For me to be observant of her positive actions could be refreshing to her. When the kids do something right and for me to speak up and notice, these kind of encouraging kind words are better than a cold Coke or a beer on a sizzling August afternoon. Because when you put the focus on her or the kids, you are setting aside your idols that make you comfortable. Recognizing loving deeds and comments lift everyone for the greater good.
A suicide mission is concluded when the objective has been achieved and the person assigned the task may have died. Keep in mind the Lover of our souls did just that, He died and He gave His all, out of love! The cool part is resurrection took place for Him. The beauty of our actions as we follow in His steps is that we too will experience resurrection and redemption in our relationships as they were intended.
Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the Church and GAVE Himself for her. “How do I do that?” Level 1: Being responsible and involved with family life; Level 2: Taking the extra step of leading your wife as well as your children (all of them); Level 3: Stepping out to be vulnerable, not just playing it safe, is to be relationally and intimately satisfied.
We all want marriages that glorify the Lord and that are satisfying! Take the first step today to take your marriage up a level! Encourage others to do the same.